What is an Invisible Woman?
No one sets out to become invisible, but for many modern women, the conflicting demands of running a family and a career, somehow pull us down this path. Combine that with our busy lives, the physical demands of child-bearing & child rearing, the aging process, our own perfectionist attitudes, and plain old run of the mill guilt and you have the potential for disaster. For many women, the mounting pressures compel her to push her own needs further into the background. Perhaps she tells herself, “With all the care-giving that needs to happen, it would be selfish for me to focus on myself”. But this is dangerous territory. Before she knows it, she is out of shape, perhaps even overweight, her self-image plummets as she finds herself schlepping around in ill-fitting clothes. She fails to schedule time to properly maintain her outward appearance. Her haircut is overgrown, gray hair peeks out her hairline. She wears only the makeup she can easily put on while driving in her mini-van. & nbsp; She does not look sexy, nor does she feel sexy. She recoils from any of her husband’s physical advances. Up next on the firing line? The woman’s self-esteem: It takes a nose-dive. While shopping she catches a glimpse in the mirror of a frumpy, frazzled woman. She is horrified when she realizes the reflection is her own. She consoles herself at the Drive-thru at McDonalds. She can’t remember the last time she was happy. Everything she does becomes a chore. She is grumpy and sometimes lashes out at her husband and children. Her workload stresses her out. She feels incompetent in all her roles. Her outward radiance dims. She shrinks back into the sidelines. And then she notices it…. other people fail to notice her. She has become invisible. So what happens next to this poor woman? Well, that depends on her. #1 – She can choose to sink further into this swamp. Perhaps she decides to accept this fate. This is the price of being a good wife, worker and mother. She has plenty of “role” models who seem to have accepted this lot. She tells herself that perhaps her problem is that she wants too much out of life. She tells herself, maybe her life was not meant to be fabulous. Or #2 – She can stage a comeback! She can listen to that little voice inside her, nudging her along. It reminds her that at one point in her life she had hopes and dreams and chutzpah! She can practice extreme self-acceptance. She can look inward, and be brutally honest. She can commit to figuring out what is not working for her and she can commit to make changes. She can take time for herself. She can pay attention to her health. She can find ways to laugh and to move her body. She can recognize that she is fabulous and deserves to be happy. She can love herself more, so she has more of herself to share with others.
From Christopher: I would like to thank Erin Rasmussen from Reframing Media, a personal friend and colleague for writing this.