My Wife’s Long Hair: Readers Write
I’m a little nervous telling you about this, but here it goes. For the last two years my wife Karren and I have been having several arguments regarding the length and style of her hair. Now look, I’m a guy and I love long hair, but there is, I feel, an age where long hair starts to become a burden on a woman. You see, I absolutely love Karen’s face! I love everything about it! But it getting so I can’t even see it anymore because of her hair getting in the way.
Karen is in her early forties, and of course is starting to battle the effects of her hair graying. When we met eighteen years ago, I just adored her look. Although she was tall, about six foot, she had a slender build and long brunette hair. I of course, loved the long hair on her and told her so. So maybe this is partially my fault? We were best friends for about eleven years and then I finally realized that I loved this woman so much that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. So on June 1, 2002 we were married in Redlands, California. It’s been a great seven years and we’re both looking forward to many more.
Now comes my situation…as I stated, as time has gone on I have realized that I just love looking at Karla’s face, and I mean her whole face. Problem is, she has these portions of her hair that just keeps falling into her face all-the-time. It drives me crazy! It not attractive at all, and I I have very carefully expressed that to her. Unfortunately, she seem to not want to do anything about it. She has been telling me for over the last two years that her and her hairstylist are working on it. She tells me that she needs to let grow it out more before they can do anything with it. I HAVE BEEN HEARING THIS FOR OVER TWO YEARS!! Get my message here?! It still hangs in her face, even more now than before.
Finally the other night she brought home your book Staging Your Comeback. She had me take a look at it and then asked me what I thought. It was great to see what you were able to do with these different women! Even Karen noted the stunning changes. I came to the section where you talked about long hair and I read it to her, her reaction was good, but a little guarded. I told her that she should try to schedule an appointment with you and she commented rather sarcastically that it would cost $300 dollars to receive a haircut from you. I told her that I have spent well over that amount in the last two years on her hair and to me it would be worth it to finally have her hair styled in a more appropriate fashion.
What’s a man to do in this situation Christopher? I’m I wrong in expressing all this to Karen? My wife is the most compassionate woman you could ever meet. She seems to be ready for a style change and even had portions of your books marked with flags. Karen has her own business as a writer/editor and I don’t think she was doing that because of errors in your book. So now that she may be ready, what do I do and how do I help guide her toward this?
Yes, men do like long hair, but there is a point where that becomes a fine line as a woman grows older. I love Karen’s hair, but, as the years have gone by what has become important to me is seeing the gorgeous face of the woman I married.
Help me here, please
Rob Cottage Grove, MN
That’s so sweet, and that is exactly the point. Seeing the face, focusing on the eyes. If hair is distractingly long, draggy, in someone’s face…it doesn’t look attractive or confident. Long hair can often make a woman “over a certain age” look insecure instead of comfortable in her skin.
There are times, though that it just is a matter of the right cut for longer hair. Bring her in. We’ll make her look beautiful, and she’ll feel confident knowing she’s in a group that gets it. If it should stay long and it looks good long, we’ll keep it long. If it needs to be cut shorter and she’s ready, we’ll cut it shorter.
Of course if she’s just a freaky chic afraid of losing her youth with a haircut we’ll be really polite and trim the ends and tell her she’s beautiful exactly how she is. 🙂